I choose to save me

I had a revelation this week.

Perhaps my most simple and most awakening moment yet.

I’ve been waiting for someone to…

cook for me.
do my laundry.
make plans for me.
love me.

for someone to PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO or swoop me off my feet.

YIKES! Who knew?

Don’t worry, I’ve been eating, I’ve been cleaning clothes, I’ve been making plans.  But sometimes with painstaking effort.  It all seemed exhausting and I felt lazy and depressed – like I’ve been floating through life…waiting.  In the past, I would have made efforts to avoid the feelings I get from waiting – drink, spend, over-plan.  But now, I’m lucky enough to know I can just work on changing my thoughts.

I’ve been a mental child in an adult’s body with this thought keeping me there: “I want someone to take care of me, to save me.”

It was so awakening to acknowledge (this is the key word :)) that I’ve been living that thought out in all my small daily actions.

So now instead of waiting, I am changing my thoughts:  I am choosing to and want me to

cook for me.
clean for me.
make plans for me.
LOVE me.
save me.

What a huge relief….no more waiting.  No more feeling exhausted and lazy.

Changing this thought is going to change my life.

I choose to save me.  Always.

SO empowering.  So awesome to be able to redefine yourself – over and over.

What are you waiting for?

thank  you for the help Meadow  🙂

The Journey (by Mary Oliver)  

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice–
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do–
determined to save
the only life you could save.

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