I said I love you

I said I love you. And for the first time, I didn’t feel like I needed to hear it back.

Amazing and freeing.

It took me a long time to get to this place (34 years and 357 days to be exact). And it wasn’t about anybody else but me.

I remember saying to my coach one time…but I want to love him. And she said to me:

YOU FIRST.

I couldn’t comprehend this for so long.

To truly love, you love you first. And trust you first. Then you never need to hear those words from anyone else. And you can say them with true freedom.

I guess I am learning this right now because I recently lost a pet that was very special to me. I loved her. And I realized how freeing that love was. And, even though she could never say it back to me, I never minded.

So I asked myself – why shouldn’t I trust the love that I feel at any other moment in my life with another person? And now I know I can, because I trust my love for me.

True, I have boundaries for my relationships that allow me stay connected with myself.

I love you. I can stay with you.
I love you. I can leave you.

And, true, sometimes others have boundaries that allow them to stay connected with themselves (including leaving this earthly plane!).

You stay with me. I love you.
You leave me. I love you.

Either way my love is always there, it never has to have boundaries.

My love means I hold a space…

of kindess.
of non-judgement.
of compassion.
of forgiveness.

for me.

for you.

always.

What a relief…

Of course I love you. I always have.

When is the last time you said this…to you?

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