Pi%$ed Off

I have a total love/hate relationship with pissed off (as opposed to my hate/hate relationship with jealousy). I understand the hate part but the love part…I wanted to think more about.

When I feel pissed off, I feel like a stark raving mad fire breathing beast. I could punch somebody square in the face and walk on by. Or I could go out my door and run and just keep running, Forrest Gump style.

Recently this happened to me – the beast was more than awakened. Luckily I didn’t punch anybody or burn their eyebrows off with my fire breathing. Or send emails that I regret. Or go to the bar. Or eat a whole chocolate cake. And well, I’m still sitting here in central PA, so I didn’t run away.

So what did I do…?

I paused and then followed a little process that I just created for me (and you – see below).

During this process I noticed – I was defending something I thought had been taken away from me.

What was it?

At first notice, it seemed like I was defending something material, an object.

But as I dug deeper, I realized it was more than that object.

What I was defending was my passion for that object.

The passion that comes from deep inside my gut. That tells me the glass is half full. That tells me to finish the race even though I want to curl up in a ball. That tells me that one person can make a difference. That tells me I’ll find someone else when my heart is broken. The feeling that always keeps me going when I feel I can go no more.

No wonder I was breathing fire – thinking this could be taken away.

And then I remembered…

No one can ever take this – my passion – away. Ever.

I like to think about passion like a fire burning inside. Not just any old fire – more like an eternal flame.

Impossible to put out – even by your self.

So every once in a while, when you’re not looking, someone takes a poker and sticks it in your fire. And it pisses you off…and then you remember. It’s your fire. Your passion. And you take that with you everywhere…

To every project
To every client
To every class
To your body
To your relationships
To YOUR life.

I wonder what would happen if we remembered our passion all the time and shared it with the world every chance we got?

Wait

I know…

we could change it.

And that’s why I love getting pissed off every so often. It reminds me of my passion. And that changing the world is still an option. Anywhere. Anytime.

How pissed off passionate are you?

A revolutionary way to deal with pissed off:

1. Pause and breathe. That poker can really hurt sometimes.

2. Do something that will involve no casualties including yourself. My recommendations: chop wood (you can use this to feed your fire later), scrub your floor, run, do jumping jacks – at least until you’re not breathing fire.

3. Still wanting to sprint across country? Call a friend who will listen – I said listen not speak. This is what true friends often do best. Let them know you need to vent and have at it. Point the finger, yell, cry, growl, and then let it go. Do not wallow in pissed off by telling everyone you run into what a victim you are. Nobody cares. Or they care too much and then it’s a pity party, literally.

4. Do some self-coaching, let that friend coach you or call a coach (like me! Just sayin’) – remember this is about you and your passion – you want to find that passion and figure out how to channel it into some real change in the world. Not fight until the death for a material object.

5. Once you come back to a semi-normal state  – trust your passion. Use that trust and passion to make a reasonable case for whatever you may be losing. Or if it’s already gone (because we can’t control everything) – move on – find a newobject to focus your passion on and…be willing to give 100% of yourself all over again, like the awesome person that you are.

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