Proud

I think I’ve mentioned this before. I’m a pretty functional adult.

But before two years ago, that was it. I was functional. I woke up.  I did what I thought was expected of me. I was in band, track, basketball, I got solid grades. I went to college. Twice. I got a job.  And then about 5 more.

Others were proud.

But until this last month, I never really knew what proud felt like. For me.

I was always looking out.  Seeing.  Hearing.  About how good I did.  About how what I had accomplished was amazing.

I was always smiling and nodding.

But on the inside I was lost.

I was lost because it didn’t matter how many times someone else told me they were proud of me.

I was never proud of me.

Not because I didn’t think I deserved it. But because I had no sense of who I was. How could I be proud of someone I didn’t know?

I had been a robot for most of my life.  Going through the motions. Doing what I thought was “right” or “good” or this is the best one, “practical”.  Looking outward for the answers.

Life coaching changed my trajectory.  I started to look in.

I saw the good, the bad and the ugly.  All my thoughts.
Noticing. Feeling. Taking responsibility.

I learned to love all of it.
I learned to start making choices for me.
To not ask anyone anything until I asked me.
First.

It has not been easy. It has taken hard work.  And dedication. To my self.

But now I know. I know. Knowing me, all of me, is a requirement of living a fulfilled life.  The kind of life where I will find the courage to teach others that they can learn to value themselves too, first.

A few weeks ago, I got the thumbs up from one of the most awesome teachers I know, Brooke Castillo.

I have become a Certified Life Coach through her amazing school.

The day I got that email.
For the first time.
I was PROUD.
For me.  For real.
Aaaaaaamazing.

Every person I ever wanted to please could have been standing in the room with me and I wouldn’t have noticed any of them. That day. I noticed me.

The me that chose to do something not because it was good, right or practical, but because it was something my heart knew it wanted.  And I listened.

I can’t wait for more of it.  For more of getting to know me. For more of listening to me.  And I’m ready to share what  I have learned.  To teach you. To guide you to notice and to listen…

From May into June, I am teaching a 4 session class in my local community about getting to know your self.  If you live in the area, I would be grateful to have you join me.

I have been so full of  love thinking about teaching this class I made a video with some of my favorite photos, check it out… Are you ready to be YOU?

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